An Everyday Guide to Successfully Managing Your Pet’s Housing Interview

D.A.'s dogs are ready for their interview!
D.A.’s dogs are ready for their interview!

I am in the process of perusing the Internet for a new place to live. My lease is up this fall and I want to take the opportunity to move closer to downtown. I came across a newer complex in Kansas City that seems promising; the place looks nice and fun, though it’s a bit pricey. My friend, and fellow blogger, Darth Amethystos was looking through the website with me because, as a Millennial, I can’t make any financial decision without the input of a friend. Of course, after a while, we stopped focusing on the details and financials and the like and went off on our own little tangent.

While perusing the site, D.A noticed that one of the leasing requirements for pet owners is a pet interview. An interview…with your pet. Nice. Perhaps in reality this is not so odd. The complex is simply seeking to determine the temperament of said furry companion due to the semi-communal living environment of an apartment complex. But, as former English majors, we took the statement literally. D.A. sarcastically asked what kind of questions they ask your dog at the pet interview. So, in response, we started throwing out housing interview questions for dogs. We decided to share them so that you as a pet owner can better prepare your pet for his or her interview with your potential landlord. Here is the list we came up with:

1. Tell us about a time when you thought you could make it outside in time but couldn’t. (D.A.)
2. Do you find yourself chewing on things you shouldn’t when you get bored? (Me)
3. Do you tend to bark when you hear loud noises? (Me)
4. Let me create a scenario for you, there’s a thunder-storm and it’s late at night. You hear a large crash. What do you do? (Me)
5. When you meet a visitor for the first time, do you pee a little out of excitement or become aggressive? (D.A.)
6. If you had your choice between a squeaky bone and a real bone, which would you pick and why? (Me)
7. Tell me about a time when you got in trouble for doing something that you thought was a good idea at the time. (D.A.)
8. What is your stance on leg-humping? Not the physical stance, of course. (D.A.)
9. When presented with another member of your species, how do you respond? (Me)
10. You may be asked to collaborate with cats from time to time. How would you handle that? (D.A.)
11. Would you be willing to delay cleaning personal areas until guests have vacated the dwelling space? (D.A.)
12. There’s an enticing bit of leftover food in the garbage can, what do you do? (D.A.)
13. About how much of your day is spent chasing squirrels? Would you consider yourself to be an expert or just a recreational enthusiast? (Me)
14. Would you say that you’re easily distracted? (Interviewer throws a ball while candidate answers the question) (D.A.)
15. When taking walks, do you assume an active leadership position or look to a more dominant leader? Why? (D.A.)
16. What is your preferred mode of transportation? Would you be opposed to being carried in a handbag or pushed in a stroller? (D.A.)
17. When presented with puppy pads or diapers, how do you respond? (Me)
18. What does the word “leash” mean to you? (Me)
19. If you could be a human, who would you be and why? (Me)

To seeΒ D.A.’s take on our conversation (and our questions finessed and a bit more business-like), check out her post here.

65 thoughts on “An Everyday Guide to Successfully Managing Your Pet’s Housing Interview

  1. Love this! My favorite is tell me about a time when you got in trouble for doing something that you thought was a good idea at the time. How about you?

    1. My favorite was the one that my friend D.A. came up with: What is your stance on leg humping? Not the physical stance, of course. I laughed a lot when she sent me that one.

      Thanks for reading!

    1. They’re not mine. They belong to my friend, D.A., who came up with the questions with me. I think her husband took the picture.

  2. So funny! There should be one for cats too. #5 could read: “When you meet a visitor for the first time, do you hide behind a heavy piece of furniture for 18 hours or sniff them for 20 minutes and then decide they’re OK?” (We have one of each in our house.) Wherever you decide to move, I hope both your dogs like the new place as well as you do.

  3. haha What a great thing to find first thing in my day. Thank you. Seriously though, I’m glad they are finally doing this for pets; I’ve been saying they should do it for years instead of just condemning pets outright, or jacking the rent so high that no one with a pet could afford to live there anyway.

    1. You’re right. It’s probably a good idea, considering how some of my current neighbors pets like to bark πŸ™‚

  4. I clicked here with low expectations (because I rarely find people’s pet stories funny – I know, I know I’m a jerk) but I was more than pleasantly surprised. Hilarious! Going to share with friends.

  5. Cute. But what about cats, ferrets, birds, fish, hamsters, rabbits, gerbils, hedgehogs, and chinchillas? Don’t they get interview questions too?

  6. Absolutely hilarious! I loved it! I answered the questions from my dogs’ perspectives — I’m afraid they would have a giant red ‘REJECTED’ on their applications! πŸ™‚
    Thanks for the laugh — I needed that today!

  7. That’s a classic! So funny πŸ˜€
    Can’t wait to share it with my mum.

  8. Love it. What a wonderfully surreal idea. My personal favourites are 4, 9, 10 & 14. Would love to see the cat questions.

  9. This was a perfect way to start my morning!! Great creative writing I have a hard time picking a favorite #8, #14, #16 they all made me smile, being a dog owner myself they all ring true! Good Job!

  10. Nice one.
    It’s extremely important to properly vet potential tenants, especially the ones who have vets themselves.
    I’d ask..
    Diversity is very important to us. Give us an example of how you have dealt with dogs from different breeding backgrounds.

    How would you describe your feelings towards mail delivery professionals?

    How prepared are you to accept the blame for the flatulence of others?

    Your owner asks you to sit, beg, fetch, roll-over, go to your basket, and offer you paw, all to a strict deadline. How do you prioritise your workload?

  11. i definitely need to make a kitty version as i may soon be faced with a kitty interview… i’m thinking, “when faced with a stranger, do you claw or purr? and why?”

  12. I am about to write about my five days in Wales with two dysfunctional dogs and their owner so all I can add at this time is:
    ‘If you locked yourself in the bathroom for five hours would you A) eat the soap B) rip all towels/robes off hooks and rails C) play with the toilet paper D) pull up floor tiles E) wee all over the remaining soap, towelling, paper, tiles F) all of the above?’ (Mrs Carmichael)

  13. first thing I noticed your photo’s “Dogs”
    ever try to this with CATS?
    y buddy is always saying ” you don’t own a cat they own you”

  14. Clever, clever πŸ˜‰ Should teach Creative Writing once again in the future I will definitely keep this one in mind. My fave: #10.

  15. #10 is something your furry companion may not want to do. I have a pet dog and he is highly intolerant to cats. Hilarious and imaginative:) It is highly probable that if I go on an interview with my pet and these are the questions the apartment goes to someone else. (sigh)

  16. New to WordPress… I’m loving it even more after reading this! We are a 3 dog family, I can absolutely relate! Good luck in the house hunt!

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